Public Service Announcements; October 1st

*You tune into Radio Free Fae in the middle of what sounds like a terrified screeching match. You wonder, for a moment, if something is amiss, or if you tuned into the wrong channel. But soon enough, the screeching stops.*
Mort: And then you are found and eaten.

Oskar:: Which is why that is what NOT to do in the face of fear! Remember, making noise will alert others to your presence.

Mort:: So if you’re in a dangerous place, or somewhere you don’t know, play dead. Like me!

Oskar: Or, well, quiet like the dead SHOULD BE. So remember, keep control of your emotions, and keep a cool head when confronted with anything monstrous, dangerous, or weird.

Both: This has been a Public Service Announcement from Winter Court.

Mort: In other news, there is still no word from Autumn Court, at least not from King Luce. All motives and plans remain a mystery--even more so than our own boss! At least we know the boss is breathing down our necks.

Oskar: Shush, they don’t need to know that! Right. Well, in other news...Mort, what’s this?

Mort: A newspaper report about a criminal escaping. Serial killer, apparently. No one knows how he got out. One minute, he was being transported between prisons, and then when they look in the truck he was in, he was gone. Weird, huh?

Oskar:...Listeners, you might have to practice that whole not-screaming thing sooner than expected. Mort, for those of us who aren’t looking at the newspaper, mind telling us who this crook is?

Mort: His name’s Paul Gardner. Seems to be in his late thirties, early forties. He’s white--who isn’t around here, seriously?--with long brown hair and a moustache. And a scar over one of his eyes. Those are green. And he’s dressed in orange prison stuff.

Oskar: Because obviously, all escaped criminals stay in their jumpsuits.

Mort: His nickname, says here, was Pastor Bluebeard. He like, killed ladies he consoled at church, and hid ‘em in a basement or something. He was found out, murdered his kid while trying to evade capture...ooooh, that’s gross. I love it.

Oskar: Mort, this isn’t fiction. Anyway, guys, keep an eye out. And remember, if you do see him, don’t scream. Save your breath to hide, and run away to get help.

Mort: All hail the Cowardice PSA! Now, for our next song…